Yo dont text me then not text me
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
