By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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