Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
