Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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