the day after is always just damage control
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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