Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
