Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
