I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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