just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize