turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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