i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
