Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
This is classic penis vs brain.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
