i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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