no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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