so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize