1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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