If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
