His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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