I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
