Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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