WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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