It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
