idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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