After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
