my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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