they need to just BURY HIM!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
