a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
