Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
