bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
