I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
