I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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