i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
