Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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