She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He shit in the fireplace
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
