no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
