Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
