"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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