Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
