We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
