I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
