like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
