You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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