oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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