I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
