these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Small penises have feelings too.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
