Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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