I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so explain again why im purple
no
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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