I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize