I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
