Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
