Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
