I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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