You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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