i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
