David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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