it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
