the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
