i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize