I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
