I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My ATM looks so different sober.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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