I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
